Obviously
by saberstorm
Summary: Post TTP. It was about time someone stated the obvious. Too bad it wasn't a genius who did so. I know I put the characters as Trouble and Holly, but the pairing is actually HollyxArtemis. Contains a preview of a NCIS style sequel I am working on.
1. Obviously

Obviously

AN: I'm kind of surprised that no one seemed to notice this possibility but me. I thought someone might have, as it is kind of obvious. I guess people like bashing Artemis up over the blackmail.

Oneshot for now. Maybe I'll make it longer later.

And no, I don't own Artemis Fowl.

* * *

Captain Holly Short stepped into the office and saluted, "Reporting as requested, Commander Kelp."

Trouble Kelp looked up from his paperwork and nodded, "Close the door and have a seat, Holly. We have a lot to discuss."

His tone of voice suggesting she wouldn't like what he had to say, Holly did so nervously. She was already on thin ice with Internal Affairs, and always had been since Hamburg for that matter. She was used to interrogations from people who were supposedly on her side, except for Trouble. He had been her combat instructor in the Academy, and there was a good reason why he was the Commander now.

In fact, if it wasn't for him smelling a rat, Ark Stool would be sitting in the chair across from her right now instead.

"I've read the report from IA, Captain," Trouble said. "I have to admit, I'm very impressed with how well you handled things. You might also be pleased to know that the Hamburg Incident will blotch Internal Affairs now instead of you, thanks to your testimony."

Holly's ears perked up, "Sir?"

"Security at Tara was their responsibility at the time, and they let someone steal a LEP officer's equipment," he chuckled. "If they had done their job, you would have had your omnitool, and the Hamburg Incident never would have happened."

"That's a relief," she sighed. Then her gut lurched. "What about Mulch?"

"We had N°1 examine him mentally, to be safe," Trouble answered. "Opal killed his memories, so he doesn't remember anything between stealing the omnitool and ending up in a shuttle after he dropped you two off. It's a big blank that can't even be recovered, like getting hit on the head and going into a coma. After we told him that Koboi did it to him, he told us to drop it because he didn't think he'd want to remember anyway."

She sighed in relief again, though this time for other reasons. "Is that all, Commander?"

Trouble's face hardened, "No, Captain. Although IA has no say over it, your report does have a few holes in it, which is surprising and suspicious due to how detailed the rest of it is. You told IA it had no impact on your mission, which is obviously true. But as your commanding officer, I need to know in case it affects your performance."

Holly felt the nervousness return, "Sir, it won't affect my performance at all."

"Take off your glove and give me your arm, Captain," he ordered. Holly winced, knowing what was coming next. It was an interrogation technique that only three people in the LEP could do correctly, and Trouble Kelp was the only one allowed to use it. It was painful, but caused no physical damage, allowing it to slip past regulations on interrogations. She gave him her arm, palm turned upward. He placed his on top of hers, his thumb and middle finger on either side of her wrist between the bones, and his index finger on her pule point.

Mouth suddenly dry, Holly swallowed as she tried to stay calm. This technique allowed him to feel her pulse rate and study her eyes and face as she responded to his questions. One hint of a lie, and he would squeeze his middle finger and thumb together, triggering a two-sided pressure point that would send pain up her arm.

"You remember this, correct?" he asked. She nodded. "You remember that you broke your combat partner's nose in class, and tried to cover it up by saying he tripped and landed on the floor face first. Do you remember what I told you then?"

"That I was a very bad liar, Sir," she answered.

"So, what happened in the gorilla cage that you left out?"

"Nothing," she said automatically, and then cringed as he squeezed his fingers.

"Nice try, Captain," Trouble shook his head. "But I'm smarter than that, and you should know better."

"It's personal, Trouble. Can we drop it?" she begged.

"No," he answered, squeezing for effect. "You're also blushing, which tells me something happened."

Gritting her teeth in frustration, she stood up leaned over, and yelled in his face, "I kissed him, okay! I kissed Artemis Fowl, and it doesn't even matter anymore because he confessed to blackmailing me while we were waiting for Mulch outside Tara with the Mini Cooper and I told him his elf-kissing days are over! You happy now?"

Trouble let go of her hand, "There you go, Captain. Now was that so hard? Please, sit back down."

She did so, red faced from anger and embarrassment. There was no way she was going to live this down, not when it came to Trouble Kelp. "What's my punishment?" she muttered.

He raised an eyebrow, "Punishment, Holly? I don't think that's what you need right now. Besides, I couldn't punish you anyway, though I am disappointed about your reaction to Fowl's confession."

Now Holly was confused, "What do you mean?"

"It was a poor reason to dump him so early."

"He didn't trust me, Commander!" Holly was standing again as she continued to rant, "He blackmailed me! How can I trust him when he throws our friendship away like that?"

Now Trouble glared at her, "I will overlook your first two outbursts due to the stress you are obviously under, but if you do so again, you will be penalized, Captain. Now sit!"

On reflex, she did just that, her anger vanishing and being replaced by fear. The last time Trouble used that tone with another officer, said officer was stripped of their badge.

"Captain Holly Short, you are an excellent officer, someone who should have been promoted years ago if we didn't need you so bad on surface missions," Trouble said slowly. "Artemis Fowl is as smart and knowledgeable as you are quick on your feet and loyal to your virtues...

"...but you are both utter idiots!"

Holly started, shocked, and slightly offended at Trouble's declaration. She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her by holding up his hand.

"Think, Captain. Think for just a moment," he said. "You're good at thinking on your feet, but you need to not let your emotions run away with you this time. Fowl is smart, but he's sometimes too smart for his own good, overlooking obvious facts because he considers them to be obvious. He also cares more about you and trusts you more than you give him credit for. Why else would he have told you he blackmailed you? Why else would he have blackmailed you in the first place?"

"What do you mean?" Holly asked, now even more confused.

Trouble sighed in frustration, "Holly, as a LEP officer, if you had helped him just because he asked, if he hadn't blackmailed you, where would you be right now?"

Then she did think about it, hard. The more she thought about it, the wider her eyes got, and the more guilt twisted her insides. "Oh, Frond..." she tried to say.

"That about sums it up," Trouble said. "Internal Affairs would have had you on several charges, including Aiding and Abetting, Illegal Time Travel, and whatever else they would have cooked up from having Koboi hijack your time tunnel. Instead of sitting here in front of me right now, you'd be on the next shuttle to Howler's Peak, and not as a guard transfer, but an inmate."

Holly suddenly felt small, very small. "I always hated 'bimbo's', but I acted like a bitch."

"I wouldn't say you were that bad, but you were pretty darn close," Trouble said. "Lucky for you, you can make up for your mistake, though I wish it were under better circumstances." Holly's ears tingled, but she stayed silent, waiting for him to explain. "Your vacation is canceled. Koboi escaped."

Leaning forward, Holly began banging her head against the edge of the desk. Trouble patiently waited for her to finish venting, counting the number of times her head and his desk connected.

_...ten, eleven, twelve,..._

After the twentieth time, she stopped. "D'Arvit," she muttered. "How does that help me patch things up anyway?"

"Cheer up, Holly. You'll like this," Trouble smiled. He opened a drawer on his desk and pulled out a new acorn badge and a file folder, handing them to her. "You're being promoted. You, Major Short, are now in charge of a special ops squad assigned to protect Fowl Manor. We've managed to pull out all the stops, mostly thanks to a proposition that has been waiting for the Council's approval since you were lost in Hybras. You'll have full clearance to everything, including Section 8 and the Council Archives. One third of your team will be above ground at all times, with the other two thirds on standby down here to cycle with the others, bring up equipment, or reinforce you on a moments notice. All the details are in that file."

Holly stared at the new rank in shock, "This is... Trouble, I … Thank you, Commander." This was more than a promotion. This put her one level short of being Wing Commander of her own division.

"There is one more incentive," he said, his smile growing broader. "If all goes well, your team will form the base of a new division in the LEP: Contact Recon, and you will be one of the two Co-Commanders of the division."

"Co-Commander?" she asked.

"You'll have a human partner with you, most likely Artemis Fowl, but that's only if things go well," Trouble explained. "It was Foaly's idea, not long after you disappeared. He argued that since they had already been discovered by two humans, more would more likely follow, even if it took another 100 years. Rather than constantly worrying about discovery, we can start preparing for the time when we will be discovered by improving any relationships we have now and in the future, increasing the chance of a peaceful merging of our societies."

"Stool didn't like that, did he?" Holly chuckled.

"Oh no he didn't. He fought it the whole way. Even Fowl's Hybras calculations couldn't provide us with enough leverage. It took Foaly some digging around until he discovered that the People started the war in the first place by denying Humans any representation on Frond's Council before we could break down Stool's arguments."

Holly's eyebrows shot up, "I didn't know that."

"Not many people do," Trouble agreed. "Apparently, it was need-to-know classified, and the only one in Haven who did know at the time was Stool himself. Quite an embarrassment for him, and enough to convince the Council to bench it until a better opportunity arrived.

"That opportunity is now. You leave for the Manor in 12 hours, so you had best get packed up. The second Opal decides to make a move, she will most likely target Fowl Manor, so we need you up there ASAP. Foaly will send up drones and sensors in 24 hours to stop any missiles or bio-bombs she might cook up, just in case."

Nodding, she got up to leave, and then paused, "Trouble, does Artemis know yet?"

"No, not yet," he answered.

A mischievous grin spread across Holly's face as she slyly said, "Don't tell him."

Trouble returned her smile, "Obviously. Make sure you get a recording."

Holly promised him she would.


	2. LEP: Contact Recon

(Do I own Artemis Fowl? If I did, would I be writing this? You decide)

LEP: Contact Recon

New Horizon

Captain Connor Lingo, formally of LEP: Atlantis Intelligence could hardly contain his excitement. Out of 5,000 applicants, he had been chosen for a permanent surface position. Such positions were rare in the LEP, and usually required the fairy in question to remain at their station almost 24/7. No free time, and no overtime pay, just a desk job in a shuttle port.

Not so for him. He had landed a spot in the Contact Recon team.

In the few years since it had been started, Contact Recon had become a dream to LEP hopefuls. It was said that if Recon was the gold of the LEP, Contact Recon had become the Holy Grail. Even Vinyaya, the Wing Commander of Section 8 was envious of the new team. They stayed on the surface, tackling some of the toughest cases in the LEP.

But it wasn't a joyride either. These cases were tough for a reason: human contact.

After Opal Koboi's escape from the seventh kraken, a LEP security team was set up under Major Holly Short to guard Fowl Manor 24/7. It turned out to be a good thing, as the deranged pixie had taken the bait. Commander Kelp's reasoning was that in order to get what she wanted to have her time traveling powers, namely a lemur called Jayjay, she would have to remove any obstacles in her way first. Artemis Fowl II was the obstacle in question, as he had been the one to outwit her and bury her under a kraken shell in the first place. She couldn't risk him being one step ahead of her once again.

So, she had attacked Fowl Manor when her powers were at their height. Thankfully, the rest of the Fowl Family had left for a night at a local spa, sparing them. The security team wasn't as lucky. Three were killed and one was wounded during the battle, and their reinforcements were trapped in a partially collapsed Tara shuttle port.

It wasn't until the timely appearance of Juliet Butler that the LEP managed to gain the upper hand. Taking a leaf out of her brother's book, she slipped on a suit of polished medieval armor and engaged Koboi in hand-to-hand combat. Koboi, who had been relying on her magical bursts, had been as shocked as the rest when the polished steel deflected her magic, allowing Juliet to get close.

By that point, no amount of magic could save Koboi from the Jade Princess.

In a last ditch effort to at least extract some form of revenge, Koboi attempted to hex Artemis Fowl, who had been wielding a .35 caliber pistol with rather good accuracy for someone who had only been practicing for a few months. Juliet knocked the pixie unconscious before she could complete the spell, and the incomplete hex struck a wounded Artemis in the chest.

After analyzing the hex, the warlocks pronounced that because it wasn't completed before fired, the opposite of the results intended would occur. A hex that was meant to drain Artemis Fowl's life slowly over a period of months would instead prolong his life for years. It was not without side effects, however, and some still lingered even after nearly 100 treatments.

Once they had gained a clean bill of health, Holly Short and Artemis Fowl were married, and Artemis offered the Manor as the new HQ for a fledgling Contact Recon. It could easily be said that the Koboi Case was the first case Contact Recon had closed, and it defined the work they now did, work that Connor Lingo was now going to do.

The shuttle ride to the surface was cramped, but expected considering the usual Tara traffic. Being a pixie, Connor was all too eager to get out into the air and fly, so much that when he finally did, he almost forgot to shield first. Mentally crossing his fingers, he hoped no one noticed and headed directly for Fowl Manor. Being stuck in Atlantis had cramped his surface skills.

Arriving at what would be his home and office for at least the next few months, Connor shuddered involuntary at the sight of the fortress. Though it hadn't changed much on the outside, he knew what lay beneath the calm exterior, namely the owner. With the rest of the Fowl family now living in Italy as the twins, Miles and Beckett, pursued their passion for art, Artemis Fowl the Second was the sole owner of the Manor. You couldn't sneeze within a five mile radius of the property without him knowing thanks to the technology Foaly provided Contact Recon (technology Artemis had significantly improved, much to the centaur's displeasure).

Still, he had been the one to apply in the first place. Taking a deep breath, Connor reached up and barely managed to ring the doorbell.

The wait wasn't long, but Connor instantly wished it was longer when the door opened. Standing there, in a black suit and wearing dark sunglasses was a giant. Connor had heard that Butler was huge, but he had never imagined this. Any bravado or bravery he had felt from getting accepted flew far away as he stared up in shock. Slowly, he raised a shaking hand, "H-h-hello?"

Butler stepped back, years of practiced discipline preventing him from falling to the floor in laughter as he gruffly replied, "Enter." He watched as the pixie carefully stepped in, treading lightly. Though he enjoyed scaring the few fairies who ever came to the Manor the first time they arrived, he swore that if this new pixie wet himself, he was not cleaning up the mess.

"Relax. It's not me you should worry about, Mr. Connor Lingo," Butler said, closing the door. "You should be worried about…"

Connor suddenly felt something cold press against the back of his neck. "Freeze," a voice ordered coldly.

"…that," Butler finished, before walking away to one of the Manor's obscure rooms to have a good long laugh. He'd had his fun.

"Turn around," the voice said, and Connor did just that, noting the slight haze that now shimmered in front of him. A pit formed in his stomach as he realized he just failed some sort of test.

"Entering a house without checking for heat signatures? Bad idea," Holly Short Fowl, Wing Commander of Contact Recon scolded as she vibrated back into the visible spectrum. "You'll need to do better than that out on the field." She was wearing a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a pair of warm slippers, and was holding a ball-point pen in her fingers, the 'gun' Connor had felt before. A small scar running from the bridge of her nose to the edge of her cheek – acquired during the Koboi Case – made her reproving glare even more intimidating. Sighing, she returned the pen to her pocked and motioned for Connor to follow her. "Welcome to Contact Recon, Probie."

Connor shuffled with his bags, hurrying after her. "Probie?" he inquired.

"Newbie; Greenie; Most likely to get all the grunt work; Most likely to kicked off if you screw up," Holly elaborated. "You want more? I got more."

"Probie is fine."

"Good call," Holly chuckled. "The first thing you need to know is that up here, the Counsel only has so much power. Sometimes our work requires us to bend or break rules. However, you don't do either without Artemis' or my say so. He and I are in charge here, so if we say, 'Crap,' you say, 'Where?', 'What color?', and 'How much?' Clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good, that puts you one step ahead of your predecessor," Holly nodded, pushing a door open. "This is the kitchen."

The warm, homely smell of fresh cinnamon buns hit Connor right in the face as he stepped inside, making his mouth water. Then his jaw dropped as he spotted the one who was pulling them out of the oven. "Holy Frond!" he gasped. "Gale Kelp!"

An enigma among the People, Gale Kelp was a rare elf/goblin hybrid: all of an elf's features and figure, but with scaled skin. A distant relative of LEP Commander Trouble Kelp, her father was disowned by the rest of the Kelp family, and both her parents were later killed by the B'wa Kell. Living on the streets, Gale had to fight her way into the LEP, eventually finding her place in the Riot Police division. Her mixed heritage proved advantageous during the attack on Police Plaza a few years prior, using her own fireballs to hold the B'wa Kell off long enough to save several officers and civilians before taking a hit to the chest. She recovered in time to be assigned to the security team sent to Fowl Manor, where she again proved her worth against Koboi. After that, she was requested by both Holly and Artemis to be a part of Contact Recon, making Gale second to Holly in both rank and fame.

But it wasn't just her fame that made Connor's jaw drop. It was also her outfit, or rather, lack of one.

A fireball dissipating in front of his face snapped him out of it as he noticed her green-eyed glare. "What's the matter?" she growled. "Never seen a woman before?"

"Not… like… this…" he managed to get out weakly.

Gale sighed, putting the pan of cinnamon buns down on a countertop. "He's not the Probie, is he?" she asked Holly, scratching at her shoulder.

"Afraid so," Holly answered. Connor now noticed that she was fiddling with some sort of shake maker. She stepped away, a 32 oz cup in her hands. "Shedding?"

"Yes," Gale muttered with displeasure. While being an elf/goblin hybrid had its perks, it also had its downfalls. She could use both elfin magic and conjure fireballs, and was also highly heat resistant, but she also had to shed her skin. Whenever that happened, her skin would itch and blister so badly that wearing anything was painful.

"Try a cold shower. It might help," Holly suggested, leading Connor out of the room. They moved through the Manor till they reached a steel door at the far end. Holly opened it to reveal a clean and well organized forensics lab, and Connor was forced to drop his bags in order to cover his ears.

"What is this? Some kind of horror music?" he said over the music being played over the surround sound at high volume.

The music cut off abruptly as a voice said, "Hardly. That was Beethoven's 6th, arranged for steel guitar, marimba, trombone, and electric bass."

Holly rolled her eyes, heading over to the person who had spoken out. Dressed in black slacks, a pair of loafers, and a white shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows, Artemis Fowl the Second stayed hunched over the table he was working at till Holly tapped him on the shoulder. Whatever he was working on at the moment was forgotten as he put it down, removed his gloves and goggles and turned to give her a not-so-quick kiss. It wasn't until Connor, feeling awkward, cleared his throat that Artemis turned to acknowledge him. "Mr. Lingo. Judging by the fact that the end of your nose seems slightly darker than the rest of you, I assume you've already met Gale."

Connor blushed and tried to rub the smoke stain off his nose, "I wish I had known about her earlier."

Artemis sighed, "Did you even read the files we sent to you?"

"Some of them," Connor mumbled. Did Fowl really expect him to remember everything, let alone read over 500 pages on his way here?

"Learn to read faster," Artemis said, and then turned to Holly. "Has the Commander called?"

"Nope. Just introducing the Probie to the rest of the team, which leaves you and Juliet," Holly said, handing him the cup. "Nettle smoothie and sans-sugar hot chocolate."

Fowl thanked her and kissed her again. Connor felt like he was going to throw up if they even mentioned the concoction in the 32 oz cup again. _It must be a side effect of Koboi's failed hex_, he thought. _Nothing else makes sense._

He was spared any further comments or humiliation by Juilet Butler, the final member of the team, sticking her head into the lab. "Commander's on," she said, which instantly had Holly and Artemis following her out, this time with Artemis carrying the cup. Leaving his bags where they were, Connor hurried after them.

_Mr. Lingo might have a point_, Artemis thought as they walked. _The marimba's sound doesn't fit well with the sounds of the other instruments._

Connor fell in step with Juliet and asked, "So, how come you're here?"

Juliet raised an eyebrow, "Something wrong with me being here?"

"No. That's not what I mean," Conner apologized quickly. "I thought you were a wrestler."

"I got bored," Juliet answered. "One can only stand being 'Undefeated Champion' for so long. Nobody wanted to go against me anymore, and my fights kept getting canceled. The challenge was gone, and the thrill went with it. Working here is always a challenge, and is anything but boring."

"Working with Artemis usually is," Holly chuckled.

"I'll take that as a complement," Artemis muttered.

They entered a room filled with screens. Five desks, one for each member of the team, were arranged so that they could see any of the screens on a given moment. On the far wall, the largest screen was showing LEP Commander Trouble Kelp in his office. Currently, his attention was on Gale, who was chewing on a cinnamon bun, scratching at her neckline. For the video conference she had donned a silk kimono, a gift from Angeline Fowl, and one of the few things she could stand wearing for a short amount of time while shedding.

The others took their seats, leaving Connor the empty desk. A cinnamon bun rested on a plate on top, waiting for him. Trouble turned his attention to the rest of the room.

"Settled in yet, Mr. Lingo?" Trouble asked.

"Sort of, sir," he replied.

"Good enough for me," the Commander nodded. "We've got a real puzzler this time, so I hope you're up for the challenge. Artemis, don't drink that in front of me."

Rolling his eyes, the genius complied and set his drink down.

Trouble continued, "Recon Captain Perk Judith was found dead in a swap in the US. He was performing an initiation test. The rookie found him dead two days into the trial. Time of death shows that he was killed an hour or two after the test started. Worse is that the wound was obviously made by a human weapon, but there's no exit wound or bullet to be found."

"Not a hunting accident then," Artemis muttered.

"No it wasn't," Trouble agreed. "It was deliberate. Wound size suggests a 45 mm. Even worse is that Foaly can't locate any kind of claims or stories about someone shooting him on any human communications. Everything's in the file I've sent."

"Send his body up too," Artemis said. "I may be able to identify any biodegradable weapon residue."

"I'd figure you'd want to perform your own autopsy," Trouble snorted. "We are on the same team, you know. You can trust us."

"It has nothing to do with trust, Commander," the genius chuckled. "It has everything to do with being able to search for evidence to support any theories we might come up with. Where exactly was he found?"

"Everglades, in Florida," Trouble said. "Like I said, the information is in the file, including coordinates and pictures. I'll have his body up to you in two days, but we need it back by next week for a funeral."

"We'll be done by then," Holly assured him.

"I hope so, Wing Commander. Good luck." Trouble terminated the connection.

"Finally!" Gale exclaimed, shrugging off her kimono to scratch at her back without damaging the silk. Connor could now see that her back was covered in blisters and winced.

Holly smacked him up the side of his head. "Get used to the view. Keep your mind out of the gutter and on the job, Probie."

"Anyone else notice a problem with the facts?" Juliet asked.

"I do," Artemis said, already tapping away at his terminal.

"Me too," Gale said. "What kind of human would kill a fairy, and then not tell anyone?"

"Someone who doesn't want to be caught, or thought insane," Artemis answered.

"Then why remove the bullet?" Holly asked.

"Artemis, humor me for a moment and bring up the pictures of the scene," Gale asked standing up in front of the main screen. Artemis did so, and she pointed to one, "Zoom in and enhance on the eyes."

Even Artemis' eyebrows shot up at what the image revealed. "Mesmerized," Holly whispered.

Juliet nodded, "We're not looking for a human. We're looking for a fairy with direct access to human weaponry."


End file.
